Post by Jessa Knight on Jan 13, 2013 0:40:33 GMT -5
Again it feels like I'm at the bottom of the well. Surouned by drowning water that just wants to turn to cement and keep you there. I feel like I need to get out. Out of this pit and I'm trying. I still try to ask God but I don't want to be a pest for my selfish needs.
I hate screwing up. You don't know. How do you put up with me all the time? Wait you don't and I don't think anyone does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't call because I normally don't see you and you are doing something else and I don't want to pester you. You normally tell me that saturday is you day. I had nothing to do and I wanted you to hold me for no reason. How can I pester you no reason how?
I was off and on all day to see if you would get on so I could tell you weren't busy but by that time I couldn't ask it was to late and people would get mad. So I tried looking for something esle to do and again wasn't there. Times like today is when I wish I never left high school where all your friends still talked to you and wanted to hang but no nothing. I keep having a strange feeling everytime I think about something and it bites thinking about that you know. How do I feel like a loser.
"You keep thinking/talking that way you will lose him." that line is drilled into my like like set in stone. I HATE IT!!! I can't help it! I wish I could I want that possiable to just vanish. I don't want to lose the one thIng that makes me feel important. Like I'm actually not a doll or some pon in some game. I love him to much.. I don't want to lose him I DON'T!!!
I'm sorry for waiting eveyone's time I just need to get this down. I'm thinking on getting a tattoo that says 'be seen not heard' man all he questions to come with that. Haha I feel better now, well some, but still I know once I put this down I will start crying even more wishing he was here to hold me.
Good night sleep well.
I hate screwing up. You don't know. How do you put up with me all the time? Wait you don't and I don't think anyone does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't call because I normally don't see you and you are doing something else and I don't want to pester you. You normally tell me that saturday is you day. I had nothing to do and I wanted you to hold me for no reason. How can I pester you no reason how?
I was off and on all day to see if you would get on so I could tell you weren't busy but by that time I couldn't ask it was to late and people would get mad. So I tried looking for something esle to do and again wasn't there. Times like today is when I wish I never left high school where all your friends still talked to you and wanted to hang but no nothing. I keep having a strange feeling everytime I think about something and it bites thinking about that you know. How do I feel like a loser.
"You keep thinking/talking that way you will lose him." that line is drilled into my like like set in stone. I HATE IT!!! I can't help it! I wish I could I want that possiable to just vanish. I don't want to lose the one thIng that makes me feel important. Like I'm actually not a doll or some pon in some game. I love him to much.. I don't want to lose him I DON'T!!!
I'm sorry for waiting eveyone's time I just need to get this down. I'm thinking on getting a tattoo that says 'be seen not heard' man all he questions to come with that. Haha I feel better now, well some, but still I know once I put this down I will start crying even more wishing he was here to hold me.
Good night sleep well.